Ayah 7-8: He loves them more! 

Scene 1, which was an intimate conversation between Yusuf AS & his father is over. Allah makes a concluding comment that ties up the scenes.

Translation: Certainly, in Yusuf & his brothers, there have been many signs/ lessons for those who ask questions / for those who seek. 

لَّقَدْ كَانَ

The word “certainly” captures some sense of the Arabic word, لقد كان. The word لقد كان can be used in Arabic to, 

1. Emphasize something

There’s definitely a lot to learn from Yusuf & his brothers, so long as you are the kind of people who ask questions, who are curious. Many of your questions are going to get answered by paying attention to Yusuf & his brothers. 

Yusuf AS’s brothers play a partial role in the story as far as their mention is concerned. They are being placed at a pivotal point where Allah is saying that we have a lot to learn from them. We have a lot to learn from all the characters in the story but for some reason Allah specifically mentioned them. Not only we can learn about them individually but about the “relationship” between Yusuf AS & his brothers. 

2. Secondly, لقد كان can be used for something that is going on for a long time. 

As if Allah is saying, yes this story is being revealed now in Arabic, in the best possible way. But the lessons to be learned from what happened with Yusuf & his brothers have been around for a long time for anyone who has had questions. Therefore, it’s not something new that’s being told to you. There was much to learn from it & the people who should have learned from it didn’t learn. 

In a subtle way, it’s also responding to those who tried to ask a question to the Prophet SAW about Yusuf AS. It’s redirecting a question that was asked for the wrong intentions into the right intentions. They didn’t ask the question to receive guidance but to prove that he SAW isn’t the prophet of Allah. 

Allah has given us guidance about what it means to ask questions? 

We are seeking answers to problems in our lives. The purpose of revelation is not to address our curiosity. Allah is giving us reorientation about how we think about questions. What kind of questions should we be asking of the Quran. The Quran is guidance and we should be asking how is it going to guide my life? 

The word سائل also means the one who needs. The beggar is also called a سائل. 

We all have emotional needs & we find ourselves in desperate needs in our lives when it comes to dealing with our relationships. When we find ourselves at a juncture & don’t know how to deal with the problems, Allah is telling us in this relationship you might find a lot of answers.

We are used to paying attention to the prophets but now we will focus on the group of people who caused a lot of trouble to the prophet and we will learn a lot from them. 

The word آيات also refers to something of value. There's something valuable to be gained from our focus on them. 

Anybody can get messed up no matter which family you come from. It doesn't matter what environment you are in. They couldn't be in a more positive environment. Just because you are surrounded by a positive environment, doesn't ensure that you are immune from messing up! Doors of a masjid don't keep the shaytan out. 

Evil takes different forms. No environment is safe from shaytan. He plays different games in different places. His brothers are being played by the devil. Yaqoob AS mentioned them and then mentioned shaytan. 

As a principle in the study of the Quran, when we study the stories in the Quran then we have to go out of the way to ask ourselves the right questions about every detail Allah tells us. You have to change your mindset from "I already know this story" to "what can I gain from this now?". The kind of answer you look for is what brings you closer to Allah. What wisdom can I apply in my own life?  

Allah says in the Quran, 

فيه ذكركم 

In it is your mention. 

You just don't benefit from people who lived a long time ago, the only way it benefits you is what you learned about them sheds light on what you are up to! It helps you to see your life in a different light. It exposes things about you and the people around you which you didn't know before.

There are many things to teach you about Yusuf and his brothers, إذ "especially when". The beginning of the next ayah with إذ ties it to the previous ayah. Meaning, of the many lessons you will learn, you'll learn them from what is about to be said about the brothers of Yusuf. 

So far, two characters were introduced directly & the brothers indirectly. But now, Brothers will speak directly. Now the camera is taking us to a room where they are by themselves & they are having a conversation with each other. This is what they are going to say to each other, 

Translation: When they said, Yusuf for sure & his brother, are loved more by our dad than we are. While we are a tight band of men/ we are a strong group. Certainly, our father is truly lost in obvious confusion/ misguidance / Our dad is a lost cause! 

There's a lot to unpack here! 

First of all, they are speaking with absolute certainty. ليوسف. The ل is used when somebody is swearing by something or somebody is declaring an absolute statement of fact as a fact. So they are saying you know what the truth is? I swear by it, Yusuf & his brother are loved more by our dad. 

Yaqoob  AS had more than one wives & he had these 12 kids from different wives. They are from 3 or 4 wives. Yusuf AS & Binyamin were from one wife and they are the youngest. Other siblings are from different wives & they are older. They don’t like that their father had this kid later in his life. 

We have already got a psychological dimension from here. They don’t see their younger brothers as their own brothers. They are calling Yusuf AS by name & Binyamin as his younger brother. 

So this can happen in complex families. Kids start thinking that dad loved us before but now the new kids have snatched away our dad. 

Vying for the attention of our parents at an early age is a very pivotal part of our upbringing. If you grow up thinking that your parents think you are worthless or that part wasn’t there. It’s something very significant that you were robbed off. And if the person doesn’t address his feelings, they continue to grow! 

Secondly, the way parents deal with older & younger kids is different. There’s more formality when you grow older. When a man grows up they are entitled to personal space. The dynamics of a relationship changes. 

It is not necessary that this happens only if the siblings are from different parents. It happens among the siblings from the same parents. Older kids are not happy with the younger ones when they lose the attention of their parents. To express their feelings, they may cry, scratch the cheeks of the little one and develop a passive-aggressive behavior. But some kids turn into another parent too. 

In the case of the grown-ups, they should have a common sense that their dad was always loving towards them & they can talk to him about anything. 

Dad loves them more than he loves us!

Yusuf’s brothers made a statement of fact about what their father feels. Love is a feeling and nobody has access to something that insides someone’s heart. You can only make observations of someone’s behavior. You can’t make assertive comments about what someone feels. We can’t speak on behalf of anyone else’s feelings. 

Yaqoobs AS told his son that his brothers would scheme against him & also the devil is an enemy. He juxtaposed the scheming of the brothers &  the scheming of the devil.

Iblees felt that he was a better choice but he stayed quiet whereas the angels spoke up. He built a narrative in his mind that why is he better but he didn’t say it. When he was asked to make sajdah to Adam AS, he said to Allah that He made Adam from dirt. But he knew that it wasn’t just dirt, there was also a Rooh inside Adam & that’s what makes humans a superior creature. Even though Iblees knew that, he said, No! He is just dirt. If he accepted that fact, it would undermine his claim that he was better. 

The devil cut the parts of reality which he didn’t want to address to fit the story that he wanted to tell himself. He created an alternative view in his mind. It got so far that he told Allah, “It’s because you misled me.”

He misled himself & then he blamed Allah. He wants human beings to relive his mistake. 

So, the brothers are misleading themselves and they are creating an alternative reality in which they can speak on behalf of their father’s feelings. After they created this alternative reality in their mind, they wanted someone to blame, so they blamed Yusuf AS & his father. They are calling their Prophet father, clearly lost in misguidance. How delusional they are!

They could have easily fixed it by talking to their father just like the Angels did. 

There’s something called tough love. When the children grow up & they act recklessly, dad has the responsibility to correct them. 

A terrible evil is about to occur but the heart of that evil is that they want to feel like dad loves them. 

This is also a mask and not a reality. Their dad is a loving father. But they want love on their terms! 

The devil thinks that human beings are nothing more than dirt! He wants to reduce us to our physical bodies. Like we have no soul. 

Yusuf As is appreciated by his father because of what he has inside of him. His heart & his manners. He is being appreciated for the spiritual goodness he has inside of him. 

The brothers said, Yusuf and his brother are more lovable to our dad while we are a strong band! 

     

We are physically strong, we are the ones that carry the wood & graze the animals & do everything else but he is the one that gets all the attention. We should be appreciated for our physical contribution, why is he appreciating his spiritual goodness. Exactly what the devil wanted. 

The devil wants you to value yourself based on your physical, not your moral & spiritual self. 

People all around the world think that because they are the ones doing the physical stuff such as running the household, paying the bills, etc. they can act however immorally they want. 

The brothers don’t want to be criticized by their dad for their immoral behavior. They want to deflect themselves from the bad they actually do! 

It would be bad enough if there was only one troubled kid but now they get together. If they talked about it to their dad, the things could have deescalated. 

Unhealthy communication

People don’t go and communicate with the person they have a problem with instead they go to people who have a similar mindset and make things worse. This is called groupthink in psychology. It can turn into the mob mentality. You develop a thought process and others are saying things that reinforce what you already feel. The feelings turn into a fact! 

You go along with what people are saying in the group even though you disagree. You don’t want to go against the anger that’s being built up. So you suppress yourself. 

In family dynamics, when someone is raising their voice, they are basically telling you that they don’t want to listen to your opinion. 

The brothers didn’t ask the question about why dad loves him so much? What does Yusuf do that they should be doing? Yusuf As is so perfect that his brothers can’t stand him. They can’t find anything to make him look bad. If they could find anything, they would say it. But they can’t. So they decide to get rid of him. 

Nowadays, people can have negative feelings inside of their head about someone else. Thinking that life would be so much better without them being around. They are invisible because of that particular person. If that person wasn’t there, they would be visible again. 

Someone receiving love doesn’t mean that you are being deprived of it. You have your own value and self-esteem. 

The brothers can’t help comparing themselves even to a child. They need to validate themselves by calling themselves نحن عصبة. 

They have passed judgment on their father. The voice of reason inside their household is their father.  But when they say our father is truly lost in obvious misguidance, they have invalidated anything their father has to say even before he says it. 

Devil wants you to invalidate the source of the reason so that you can dismiss it even before it’s said. 

This closes any door of reconciliation! 

What comes next is very evil & in your mind, you justify that you are doing it for a good cause. 

The devil doesn’t just call you to the corrupted actions straightaway. He twists and mutilates your feelings & thoughts first. When they get twisted enough then the evil actions take place. 

He took this emotion of wanting to be loved & poisoned it. He turned it into hate, judgment & disregard. Therefore, in our families, we should be ready to have uncomfortable conversations for things to get better. Silence can make things way worse!